Category: Immigration

Trying To Kill Us
Australia, Bundaberg, Customs, Immigration, November 2022, The South Pacific

They Are Already Trying To Kill Us!

Well friends and followers, the Dazzler crew has found themselves safely in Australia. Our eight day passage was one of the easiest we’ve had to date. In fact, with only three of those days having enough wind to sail by we had a very calm motor trip. Not exactly what we hope for and also very expensive fuel wise but the bonus is that we didn’t break anything in rough seas. Heck, we had seas so flat most of the time it was more like being on a lake than the ocean. Now it’s time to buckle down and get used to the rough and tumble lifestyle of the Aussies while trying to avoid all the animals, reptiles and insects that are trying to kill us.

Our arrival at Bundaberg Port Marina coincided with that of six other incoming yachts. That meant we had to wait in line for check in. Fortunately they put us in our slip to wait rather than making us anchor out and then come to the quarantine dock when they were ready.

Sadly this meant we could be in port but not leave the boat until the ABF (Australian Border Force) and Biosecurity had been by to clear us in. When you’ve been on a boat for eight straight days the first thing you want to do it get off of it and take a little walk. But, we took it all in stride and sipped on a few anchor down beers while we waited.

If you’ve never checked into our out of a country on a boat you’d probably be shocked to know all of the regulations and paperwork that go along with it. All countries ask mostly the same information but their bureaucratic red tape can be vastly different. For example, checking into Vanuatu, a third world country, is a hassle but they don’t seem to care much about what you are or are not bringing into the country. They don’t even board your boat. For all they know we could have smuggled in monkeys or small children. No, Grape Ape doesn’t count as he’s family.

Checking into first world countries like New Zealand and Australia is night and day from places like Vanuatu. Here they want to know everything and I do mean everything. Australia is known for having very strict border controls….something the USA would do well to adopt. The paperwork even requires that you list all of your electronics with their serial numbers etc. It literally took hours to prepare our entry paperwork for Australia. And, this week we experienced a bit of that tough Aussie border control.

Here Comes ABF

ABF was here within an hour of our arrival and Rob, the agent, was a pleasure to have aboard. We were his last check in of the day so he spent a little extra time chatting us up a bit and giving us info about the country. But while he was certainly enjoyable to work with there was no doubt he knows his job and does it to the letter. 

While he appeared relaxed and casual it was very evident that he uses that manner to get the cruisers checking in to be relaxed. That in itself could entice the bad guys to slip up and give away information regarding something they may be doing that isn’t quite on the up and up. 

You’d be surprised at what people try to bring into country. We learned it’s not just drugs and human trafficking either. Apparently one woman tried to smuggle in a small monkey on her boat. She tranquilized it and hid it in a locker! 

Knowing us and most specifically, Dan, you have to know that this is not an issue on Dazzler. We do everything to the letter because she’s our home and we do not want to to have her seized. It’s just not worth it. We declare everything and let them tell us if there is something they want. Our motto is this… “If they take it, then they take it. Better that than to lose our home.”

After Rob left the boat we waited anxiously for  Biosecurity. This is the one thing we were very concerned about. You see, here in Australia Biosecurity doesn’t just come on board and seize fruits, vegetables and fresh/frozen meats, they do a full timber inspection to be sure you aren’t brining in any termites or wood boring insects.

Honestly we find this a little ironic considering the fact that Australia is known for massive termite mounds that can be as big as a small camper. And, we learned they have fourteen days from our arrival to do said, very expensive, timber inspection. Doesn’t that seem a bit counterintuitive? I mean really, if we’re tied to a dock and we do have these insects on board and they don’t check us for two weeks then isn’t it likely that these creatures have already started migrating toward the land???? Asking for a friend here.

Oh well, as we always say…. “Their country, their rules. We just do what is asked and move on.”

Where Is Biosecurity? I’m Starving!

We arrived at 1000 hours and at 1600 hours we still had not seen hide nor hair of Biosecurity. At this point we began to get a bit concerned. We couldn’t leave the boat and we hadn’t eaten. And, we had purged any of the real food we had on board that we knew they would confiscate. 

After all, better to feed the sea life than to let it go to the incinerator right? Well, maybe not as right as we thought as I’d have given my right arm for a piece of the spicy Italian salami that we fed to the sharks about that time. And we only had four beers on board when we docked so we were definitely ready for food and some adult beverages. 

We finally contacted the marina staff who assured us that Biosecurity would not leave for the day until they visited all of us. At minimum they would clear us so that we could leave the boat and would come back later to complete their timber inspection. 

Finally around 1700 a lovely young lady name Rebecca showed up. She was bright and shining and an absolute doll with a perky smile and great attitude. She told us she’d only be here long enough to clear us in and look into our food stores. Since we’d already done all of our purging it made her job easy. Within ten minutes we had our Practique that gave us permission to depart the vessel. Of course that invasive timber inspection would be on the books for another day.

They Are Already Trying To Kill Us!

Within minutes of her leaving we were off the boat and taking a walk to the nearby hamlet at Burnett Heads where we’d been assured there was a liquor store, grocery store and the Beacon’s Bistro Pub. Well, what else do you need in life?

First of all, we’d been told the walk was just fifteen minutes and it turned out to be twenty-five. I never understand why people always lie about distances and times but we hadn’t walked much in the last eight days so it was not a huge deal. Of course it was getting close to sunset and I wasn’t so excited about being out here in the wilderness knowing that everything in Australia wants to kill me either.

We’re walking down this road that is a blacktop road in what looks like a brand new subdivision. You know, just before any construction begins? Well, we’re walking along chatting when all of the sudden out of nowhere comes this big bird screeching as loud as it can while dive bombing us. 

I’m not kidding this thing was coming right at us and you could see it was not a happy camper. At first I thought it was just a fluke but by the third time it came at us I knew it was clearly out to get us. Obviously we were near some nest but there were no trees so we had no idea where it was or what we should be moving away from. This crazy thing came at us six or eight times before it finally landed on the ground and left us alone.

We later learned this is called a Plover. Of course when the Aussies say it, it sounds more like “pluva”. They tells us they nest on the ground and are very territorial. Really? I hadn’t noticed. 

More important than that….they have a spur on the front edge of their wings that can cut the crap out of you. Rebecca, our Biosecurity agent, told us that as kids if you wanted to get into the “cool kid click” you had to run into a field, steal a Plover egg, bring it to the others to see and then run back into the field and put it back into its nest.

No Coolness Here

It’s then that I realized if I’d grown up here in the land of Oz I would not have been one of the cool kids. No, I’d have been the geek riding around in the bicycle helmet with zip ties sticking up in the air to protect me from the evil flying beasts. Apparently Magpies also enjoy swooping down and attacking you as well.

And yes, that’s what they do here. They tie zip ties into their bike helmets so that the birds swoop down and hit the zip ties instead of their heads. I think the only cool thing I’d have had going for me is that I’d have used colored zip ties instead of the black ones as we’ve seen on most helmets. 

The bird attack happened just ten minutes into our walk so now I’m looking around for the snakes, spiders and crocodiles that I already knew would be gunning for us. I certainly wasn’t prepared to put psychotic birds on my list of things that would try to kill me but here I was less that eight hours in country and I was already modifying my list of critters to avoid in order to live through this adventure.

We Made It Alive!

Fortunately we made it to the pub with no further incidents. But, I was concerned that we’d be walking back in the dark. We learned the pub has a shuttle that will take us back to the marina so my fears were put to rest. We had a few brews, some dinner and picked up the needed adult supplies at the liquor store next door before they drove us back to the marina.

Now I should go back just a little bit before we departed because, well, I found my new hero and her name is Stantana. We’d finished our dinner and were waiting around until 2000 for the shuttle to take us to the marina. Behind us was this guy who had obviously had a little more alcohol than his mouth could handle. He was getting a bit surly with the staff and, well, they cut him off. 

Apparently this didn’t sit well with his intoxicated brain so he became even more unruly. Not liking the fact that Brad, the bartender, had cut him off he went back to the bar to try to plead his case with the gal in charge. When she refused to budge on the issue he got even more aggressive and started calling Brad a “softcock” and threatening Stantana with calling her bosses. Seems he thought his connection to the owners made him invincible. Funny how alcohol does that isn’t it?

Don’t Start None, There Won’t Be None!

This woman wasn’t taking any grief from this old due. As his aggression level rose so did hers. Finally we see her get right in his face and with a most authoritative voice and yell, “Get the F*** out of my bar!” 

I literally sat back on my stool looking at them in complete shock. I mean, it’s not every day you see something like this happening right in front of you. Usually you have to go to Youtube for this sort of entertainment. 

Drunk dude staggers back to his table behind us cursing and mumbling the entire way. He gets to the table, picks up a glass that was half full of whisky and starts to raise it to his mouth.

Stantana yells across the bar, “Don’t you dare drink that. You get out of here.” He keeps on as if he’s going to drink it and in a split second she has gone from behind the bar, across the room a good twenty feet and is standing at his side. She slaps the glass out of his hand and it falls to the table splashing whisky everywhere. Not sure but I think that’s alcohol abuse.  

Anyway, drunk dude continues with his cursing and inebriated crap and she yells at him again, “I told you to get the F*** out of my bar!” He starts to get up in her face and she pushes him backwards toward the wall. About this time I’m looking at Dan who is in all out cop readiness mode. He’s not going to let anything happen to this gal.

Fortunately the old drunk decides Stantana might be a bit much for him to tangle with in his current state and decides to stagger out the back door mumbling about how she’s going to be fired when he talks to her boss. Dan relaxes and Stantana calmly goes about cleaning up the mess on and around the table. 

I’m sitting there in shock and yet I’m so dang proud of this woman I don’t even know. I mean, honestly, she is badass and it’s evident that in a pub in the remote places in Australia that’s exactly how you have to be. I’m pretty sure her motto is similar to mine…. “Don’t start none there won’t be none.”

As she walks by I tell her she’s my new hero. She laughs and says it’s not the first time she’s had to deal with him and it certainly won’t be the last. Before we leave the pub I just had to get a picture with her. She will always be a reminder of our first night in the land down under where you have to be tough to survive. Who knows, maybe she will inspire me to toughen up a bit about all these deadly critters. 

Naw….not likely! 

Is that Jackie Legs Over There?

In the last few days we’ve had time to get adjusted to the Australian way of doing things and even passed our timber inspection with flying colors. We’ve been to town, re-provisioned with a few things. I finally got a much needed haircut after six months and we even got to see our first wild kangaroos. They were in a field literally steps away from the pub at Burnett Heads. I was so excited I was like a kid at Christmas. 

Of course the Aussies think I’m crazy because they think of them as rodents. I guess I like them because they are one of the few things here that aren’t trying to kill us and, they are kind of cute too. Is that Jackie Legs over there???

Anyway, I’m pretty sure I’m going to love this country as soon as I get used to the critters. By the way, now my list not only includes, snakes, spiders, crocodiles (salties), box jellyfish and sharks but also the Plover bird and apparently the Magpie. 

A Much Needed Trip Home

As for us…we’re putting Dazzler in dry storage this Friday. It’s finally time for us to go back home and visit family and friends after almost three years. We’re both very excited to see everyone. We’ll be spending time in California, Oregon, Idaho, Nevada and Florida. And, for the first time in seven years we will be with family, blood family that is, for the holidays. It’s Thanksgiving in California and Christmas in Florida. 

So, we can’t promise that we will be updating the site much, if at all, while we are gone. We’re looking at this time as a time to really reconnect with our loved ones and that means putting all work aside for a bit. And, with all the travel required to see everyone we probably won’t have time anyway. 

We’ll be back at the end of January though so we hope you’ll come back to see how things are going. By then Dan will have a riveting article about a huge “boo boo” he made on Dazzler this week that could have resulted in tens of thousands of dollars in damage to her. All I can say is, “I’m glad it was his mistake and not mine.” 

As embarrassing as it is he plans to share this misadventure because, well, it can happen to anyone of us. And, if it does, knowing how to handle it is key. Hopefully his story will help someone else along the way so be sure to watch for it.

We hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s or whatever other holidays you celebrate. Remember to spread joy wherever you go and find peace and love in everyone and everything.

Until next time,

Jilly

Read About Our Passage From Vanuatu…Click Here!

2022, Biosecurity, Customs, Immigration, October 2022, September 2022, Vanuatu

Customs Chaos At Sea

For those of you who have never had the opportunity to travel from country to country via a private yacht you may be surprised at what is involved in dealing with Customs, Immigration and Biosecurity. Depending upon the country there can be mounds of paperwork that must be filed out with forms asking redundant questions and seeking the most intimate of details about your vessel. It can result in a form of “customs chaos” and when Customs waits until you’re at sea to respond it can be highly frustrating.

As the Best Mate on board the duties revolving around the paperwork for our entries and exits lie in my hands. It’s definitely not my favorite thing to do but then I’m quite certain servicing the Yanmar, cleaning the bottom of the boat or the myriad of other things Dan does aren’t his favorite things either so I bury my head in the computer, suss out all that is required and try to be sure everything is sorted long before it will ever be needed. After having done this in seven different countries with two more to be tackled in the coming days and months I don’t mind saying I’m becoming somewhat of an expert at it. Whatever that means.

Welcome To The Jungle

Here in the jungle of Customs, Immigration & Biosecurity paperwork I am highly efficient and well ordered. Why? Well firstly it makes our life a lot easier when we arrive or depart. When you have all your proverbial ducks in a row you make it simple for the officials to get you processed and underway. Border officials, as well all do, like things to be easy so they tend to give you less hassles if you’re properly prepared.

Most importantly, if you don’t do things the right way they have the options of refusing you entry or exit, fining you, jailing you and/or even confiscating your boat!! And let’s be honest…we’re often dealing with third world countries where corruption is everywhere and so the last thing I want to do is give them any possible excuse to avail themselves to any of those options.

Quite frankly these days with the internet and government websites it “should” be rather easy, even if it is a little cumbersome to get the paperwork filled out and returned to them. The fact is, it is NOT! Nope. Not even in the year 2022 can you find easy to locate, easy to use document packages that give you exact instructions on what you need to do. And, when you add the new Covid restrictions that may or may not require pre-departure and/or arrival RAT tests that can only be done within 24 hours of departure it becomes Customs chaos!!!

Can I Just Get A Fillable Form Please?

As someone who specialized in streamlining processes in my career I have a very hard time dealing with government agencies and their inability to do exactly that. My biggest pet peeve with all the border agencies around the world is not the mountains of forms they want filled out or even the redundant and/or invasive questions they ask. No, it’s the fact that it’s 2022 and these agencies provide forms online that are not able to be easily filled out.

I mean come on….how difficult is it to create a fillable PDF? And why can’t they make it dynamic so that when you answer the question of your boat’s name on page one it fills it out in every other section on the form where the boat name is required? I’m pretty certain there are about a thousand Youtube videos that could teach them how to do this. This isn’t rocket science people.

Some agencies have forms that are uploaded on their websites that are just Word documents with dashes for the space to enter your information. Apparently they are expecting you to print the document and fill it in. They don’t seem to understand that yachties tend to be very techie because we don’t have room for printers, reams of paper and extra ink cartridges.

Heck, even on Dazzler when we get a boat card from another yachtie we scan it into our files and toss the card. That probably sounds bad because we all spend good money having cards made to share but room is at a premium on a boat like ours.

I guess it just gets to me because creating a fillable PDF for your customers is a simple thing to do and in the end it makes your job easier because you aren’t trying to decipher their handwritten hieroglyphics. It seems maybe if I ever decide to go back to work I should set up a company creating these things for border agencies around the world. Or at least take their forms and fix them for the yachties. No wait….that sounds too much like work and I enjoy being retarded, I mean retired.

The Big Government Let Down

Before we even left New Zealand in May of this year I’d already downloaded the forms for entry and exit for Fiji, Vanuatu and Australia. I not only downloaded them but filled them out too. I filled in everything except the port arrival and departure information and the dates and times. And for those forms that were not user friendly PDF fillable forms, let’s just say…”they are now.” Sometimes I just can’t help myself.

This OCD Best Mate created little country folders on the laptop that contained packages of the forms just sitting there awaiting the last tiny bits of information to be added so they could fly through cyberspace to the appropriate border officials. Yes, I even patted myself on the back with pride as I boasted of my utter efficiency. “Oh yes…this year it will be different.” I thought to myself. “This year it will be easy.”

Oh how we delude ourselves into thinking the best could ever come from intercourse with a government agency. I’m guessing you know where I’m heading with that so I’ll just leave it here and let you fill in the blank………. “No matter how easy it sounds, sooner or later we’re going to get _________!”

Yes, we go into it feeling so positive and come out the other end feeling as if we’d been tried for murder, found guilty and been sentenced to life in a maximum security prison. We know we’re innocent but they always find a way to make us crazy enough to actually commit the crime. Well, folks. It’s even worse when you are at sea and don’t have all the tools available to communicate with the appropriate people.

I’ve Sent This Four Times Now

The very day Dan told me we had a weather window to leave Fiji I sent my exit paperwork to Fiji Customs, stopped by their office in Port Denarau and did everything I needed to do to secure our departure. All in all Fiji wasn’t so bad. There were a couple of hang ups like the fact that we’d paid for an extension to our visa but never actually got one so “technically” we had overstayed. But, the Immigration Officer assured us that as long as our paperwork was in and the fee was paid there would be no issue. Hmmmm…why do I feel like the fee was more important than the actual stamp saying we could stay????

We wanted to enter Vanuatu at Port Resolution on the east side island of Tanna for two reasons. One, it is at the southern end of the chain of islands making it easy to start there and work our way north to Efate an on to Espiritu Santo islands leaving us to check out of country in Luganville. The other reason is that on Tanna there is the famous Mt. Yasur volcano. It’s an active volcano and one of the few in the world that is fairly easy to access.

To enter at Port Resolution you need to have prior permission from Vanuatu Customs. If you don’t have it you are required to check in on the west side of the island at Lenakal or one of the other authorized ports on Efate or Espiritu Santo. Lenakal is another day’s sail for us and not necessarily one we wanted to make. And, once there we’d have to take a two hour, ride in the back of a truck across the mountainous dirt roads to reach the volcano. In Port Resolution you are very close and the anchorage has views of the fiery cone of death for your evening entertainment.

The entry paperwork for Vanuatu is, like most countries, detailed and unwieldy. They all want to know every tiny detail about you and your vessel from the colors on it to the materials used in its construction to just about every single piece of electronics on board. And it’s not just as easy as listing them, you have to have the make and model of each and for some countries, such as Australia, they actually want the serial number. This is where my OCD Captain and hubby comes in as he’s got all that in one place for me.

About a week before we’d even decided on a departure date I began emailing Vanuatu Customs to find out what was needed to get this approval. Much to my surprise I was given a pretty simple and quick answer. Yes we can check in at Port Resolution and they would forward us instructions once we’d submitted our paperwork. Well, where’s my Staples, “That was easy button?????

Oh wait…I keep forgetting…It’s never easy!

With our departure date in hand I completed the final details on the Inward Craft Report, Passenger Arrival Cards, Inter-Island Cruising Permit and the Maritime Declaration of Health. I combined all this, along with our US Boat Documentation, Vaccine Passports and one or two other documents into one easy to use PDF and emailed it to the appropriate email address. I guess I keep thinking if I make it easy for them they will eventually make it so for me. Alas, I’m such a dreamer.

The only thing they were missing to get full and final approval was the RAT test results which could not be done for five more days as they must be completed no more than 24 hours prior to our departure. But, the good news is they had everything else five days ahead of time. I gleefully thought, “That should be plenty of time to get them all sorted and get an answer back to us even if it is contingent upon the negative RAT test.”

With no answer from Customs I decided not to bother them as I assumed they were awaiting the RAT test results. So, on Sunday morning within moments of being declared “Vid Free” I emailed the certificates along with the original package, you know, just in case….over to the contacts I had at Vanuatu Customs. I had been told by them via email that the answer would come almost immediately.

Since all my pre-departure work was now behind me Dan & I spent our last afternoon enjoying Port Denarau. We had a shared plate of nachos while we imbibed on a couple of the best frozen Mojitos you’ll ever have at Cardo’s on the waterfront. We went back and relaxed on Dazzler and then later in the day caught up with our friends, Wilma & Kata, for drinks at Lulu’s Cafe. Then it was time for us to enjoy one farewell dinner at Sails. And oh what a treat that was…but we’ll save that for another time.

This Is Jilly On Dazzler, Can I Get An Answer Or At Least Buy A Vowel?

The following morning as we readied ourselves for departure I continued to check the email over and over for our approval or for anything at all from Vanuatu Customs. Nothing…nope…nada. I hastily sent an email asking if we were going to get an answer but still nothing. It was like they dropped off the face of the earth. So what do a couple of old salts do now? Well, we went ahead and checked out of country and started making our way toward Port Resolution. That’s what.

The worst case scenario is they’d tell us we couldn’t exit the boat or check in there and we’d have to go to another port. Either way we still have over 400 NM and four days to get there. We had some time to wait it out even if it was nagging at me that the issued had not yet been put to bed.

Unlike in the days of Captain’s Cook or Bligh today’s cruisers have the ability stay in constant contact with the outside world. We can be a thousand miles offshore and still be able to place a ship to shore call or send emails via satellite technology. Honestly I’m not sure my dear ol’ mama could handle us being out here if we couldn’t. She likes hearing from us daily while we’re at sea just so she knows we’re still afloat.

Of course with satellite technology there are definitely limits to what you can do. Sending emails via our IridiumGo is great but don’t try to send a photograph or a file unless you have nothing else to do for a bit. One, smallish, not so great resolution photograph can take ten to twenty minutes to get it off flying through cyberspace. This is exactly why we send all arrival documents before we leave our last port. We do it when we have “real” internet.

Now I’m sure there are some out there asking why we haven’t switched to Starlink as this is supposed to be “the thing” to use for internet for travelers. Well, we don’t think it’s quite ready to do what we need it to do and with the issues they are having over the RV service being used on yachts we’d like to just wait this out a little while. At least we know our IridiumGo gets the job done for us and in the event we need to reach someone out here we’d like that security.

So here we are hundreds of miles from shore and I’m now pestering the Border Officials for an answer. After all, I’m at sea with not much else to do but read and write so I am sending an email a day. After a couple of emails a nice lady named Ruth gets back to me saying we should have our approval the following morning. Excellent! All is well…….or, is it???

Yesterday morning comes and goes without an answer so I send another email. Each time I copy everyone I’ve had contact with there. Someone has to be able to get this done right? Well, finally late yesterday afternoon I see an email has come in from Ruth only this time it’s some huge file that goes into what is called “big mail”. In order for me to open items that land there I have to specifically ask for them to be downloaded as they can take a long, long, long time.

This particular file is over 2 million bytes! By the time it opens, if it doesn’t just shut the whole system down first, we will have decided we are simply too old to sail anymore and will have sold the boat and moved into some old folks home on land somewhere. No, this simply will not work.

So now it appears I have an answer but I have no way of knowing if it’s yes or no. The thing is they all know we are already at sea so they have to know that normal internet is not at play here. I mean this whole satellite email stuff didn’t just come on the market. And this is border control. They have dealt with this stuff since the moment it did come on the market.

Are you sensing my frustration yet????

I’ll wrap this up by telling you that it took a series of four more emails back and forth for us to finally get something in writing telling us we are approved to enter the country at Port Resolution. So much for my “it’s going to be so easy this year” plan. But, today I’ve been reading about the Ni-Vanuatu people in preparation for our arrival and I did learn one thing that will surely be helpful during our stay and it’s that time is of very little relevance in their culture. The way they see it a measurement of time will not change a thing so my wanting an answer expeditiously meant nothing to them. They knew an answer would come and that answer would be the same whether they sent it last week or next week. I think this adventure is going to be a test of my patience to be sure.

All I can say now is this volcano better be worth the frustration I’ve been through to get there. That and oh, “God, please grant me a huge dose of patience in the next 24 hours.”

Until next time….when we are safely anchor down at Port Resolution, Vanuatu…

Jilly